from "Fearproof Your Life"

Staying grounded in our true Selves keeps us in a state of profound presence and awareness. Being grounded means that we are actually living from the true Self—not just believing that it is a good idea. We are congruent with our Being. We are an embodiment of the truth of who we are. This security in who we are is like a tree whose roots are firmly planted in the ground, able to withstand strong winds of adversity. It keeps us from entering other persons’ “reality” and taking on the resulting feelings of fear and anxiety they are experiencing.

from "Fearproof Your Life

Intuition is like radar for sensing danger before it is present. It has all the benefits of vigilance without the negative side effects. Being mentally vigilant all the time is tiring, stressful, and keeps us from enjoying our lives. When we are mentally vigilant, our intellect, guided by our fearful belief system, attempts to create safety by compulsively thinking over and over about all the things that could go wrong in any situation. Over-thinking jams the natural paths of communication between our conscious awareness and our all-knowing true Self.

From "Fearproof Your Life"

Cancer is a word often spoken in hushed, doom-filled tones. We feel fear in our hearts when we hear the word. Who gives us that fear? We do it to ourselves.

The first time the fear of cancer flooded my thoughts was when I was twelve years old. I was writing a health report about cells multiplying out of control; it was called cancer. I sat at my desk terrified that one day it would invade my body.

From "Fearproof Your Life"

Early on in our lives, most of us unknowingly chose to identify with our beliefs, memories, and habits—our egos. As we learned and accepted a limited view of ourselves based on others’ opinions of us and our own conclusions, we created an identity based on these beliefs. Seeing ourselves in this limited way led many of us to make the rest of our choices in life based on our limited belief systems rather than on the unlimited wisdom of our true Self. “That’s just the way I am, that’s my personality.” Whenever we make choices from the separated state of the ego, we inevitably make choices that take us out of balance with ourselves, each other, and the world around us. It is no wonder that so many human beings live lives of fear, unhappiness, boredom, and discontent.

From "Fearproof Your Life"

Another helpful way to think about fear is as an alarm clock. When we hear the alarm clock of fear, it is there to get our attention, to wake us up to the need to become more conscious. But once we are awake we don’t let our alarm clock keep ringing. The ringing would be annoying and unnecessary and would disrupt the tranquility of our day, just as sustained fear disrupts the tranquility of our minds.

From "Fearproof Your Life"

Worry, anxiety, dread, obsession, where do they come from? Throughout time, humankind has sought peace and safety by trying to outguess the unknown. We have tried to anticipate and prepare for the unexpected, the imagined, the apparitions of our minds. Our efforts to control the unknown and thus keep ourselves safe have led to a collective as well as a personal sensation of fear. Individually and as a society, we have become addicted to fear.

From "Fearproof Your Life"

Reflection can come to us in a silent thought like a voice in our head. It can also come to us while we are having a conversation. It can be pure thought that comes to us while in the shower or on a walk, or while writing in a journal or in quick scribbles on a convenient piece of paper. It can come to us in a song lyric that we know is expressing an inner truth. It often comes in hearing the wisdom of a child. Truth is truth; but whether it enters our awareness from inside of us or from an external source, it is always our true Self that recognizes it as truth.

From "Slowing Down to the Speed of Love"

One of the by-products of our fast-paced modern society is an increased level of irritation, anger, violence, and conflict. We see this lack of awareness of the natural Self on a global level in ever-increasing wars, ethnic and religious tensions, school violence like Columbine, terrorist attacks, drive-by shootings, gang-related violence, workplace homicides, child abuse, and family violence. Even in non-violent acts, such as waiting in line at airports, in stores, and on the highway, we witness daily evidence of impatience, a lack of courtesy, and a self-centered, self-righteous sense of inhumanity.

From "Slowing Down to the Speed of Love"

Forgiveness is a prerequisite to true love. You cannot have a loving relationship where there is judgment, resentment, guilt (judging yourself), or blame. Forgiveness is the ability to see innocence in another, without judgment.

From "Slowing Down to the Speed of Love"

In the world of relationships, our emotions and feelings are as important to navigating our ups and downs as the instrument panel is to a pilot flying in low visibility. Feelings and emotions are navigational signals that can guide us to live from our natural Self and stay in the moment. When we understand these signals, we know when to ignore the perceptions that we have created from the ego-self. We see how to avoid the pitfalls of living in the past or future, and we know how to avoid being influenced by an old memory. These perceptions of reality are actually illusions that keep us trapped in the circular thinking of the ego.

From "Slowing Down to the Speed of Love"

Deep listening occurs when your mind is quiet. Your thoughts are flowing rather than crowding your mind with distractions, interpretations, judgments, conclusions, or assumptions. Your mind is open, curious, interested -- as though you were hearing this person for the first time. Deep listening applies not only to communication with another, but also to listening to ourselves and to life in general. The goal of deep listening is to hear beyond the words of the other person and yourself, to the essence of what the words and feelings are pointing to. Your mind and heart are joined in union -- you are listening wholeheartedly.

From "Slowing Down to the Speed of Love"

"The Wizard of Oz" was my favorite movie as a child, yet I didn¡¦t realize till later in life why I was so drawn to it. The film of Dorothy and her three companions is a story we all have in common -- our search for what we think we need to be happy and complete. For Dorothy, it was to return home. For the Tin Man, it was a heart. For the Lion, it was courage. And for the Scarecrow, it was a brain. After lots of battles with witches and flying monkeys, these four friends ultimately discovered that courage, intelligence, and a heart were already within them and that home was just a click of the heels away. The Wizard couldn't give them anything they sought; they had to find it for themselves.

From "The Speed Trap"

Six years ago, a large national advertising company found itself in a serious financial crisis. Although it was a relatively successful company, it was overly financed and had accrued a debt of $17 million. Its lenders were giving the company six months to turn the business around or they would sell off their assets. Several of the owner’s other businesses had already been sold to pay off debt, and this was the next one on the chopping block.

The mood in the company was anxious and near panic. The employees were trying hard to save the company and their jobs, but they weren’t thinking clearly and were making lots of mistakes. They were putting in long days and nights, but seemed to be losing ground despite their efforts.

From "The Speed Trap"

When Sue’s father died about twenty years ago, it was a traumatic experience for both her and her father. He was a very athletic man who was healthy until he found out he had cancer. Over the next six months, Sue watched him deteriorate to the level of an infant. She had to parent him and take care of all his needs. All she felt was fear; all she wanted to do was run.

From "The Speed Trap"

It seemed as though everything in Mark’s life was going through change and dissolution. He was in the midst of a highly contested divorce, and partially due to his depression and inability to function his business partners decided to break off on their own.

From "The Speed Trap"

Jerry is a very successful motivational speaker and business consultant. Now in his forties, he has spent the last twenty-odd years perfecting his skills and learning everything he could on self-help and success, including going to every positive thinking and motivational rally -- from Anthony Robbins's to Stephen Covey's. For the past ten years, he has also been an ardent student of the principles in this book. He has always considered himself "Mr. Positive Thinking" and is considered successful by most standards.

From "The Speed Trap"

Ginny has worked as a lab technician at the same hospital for twenty years. When her hospital merged with another hospital five years ago, the atmosphere at work became tense and uncertain, hostile and territorial, and filled with fear.

from "The Speed Trap"

When we are unhappy, we often quite naturally begin to fantasize about how our troubles would end “if only.” If only I could move to the country and avoid the hassle of city life · If only I could quit my job and do something simpler, like be a forest ranger in a national park · If only I could leave this marriage, which isn’t working out, and find someone who really understands me.

Unfortunately, all too often we quit that stressful job or leave that unhappy marriage, only to find ourselves in a similar or worse situation. Why is this?

from "Slowing Down to the Speed of Life"

Human beings are born with the ability to relate to one another and experience unconditional love, and most people would agree that loving and being loved is one of the most extraordinary of all human experiences. Nevertheless, unconditional love seems to be an elusive dream and a difficult challenge for all too many of us.

from "Slowing Down to the Speed of Life"

If you think of your life as a journey, and yourself as the captain of your ship, you know that nothing is more important to your survival and the quality of your life than learning to navigate efficiently. Most of us, however, have picked up mental habits that interfere with our ability to stay on course, change direction, slow down, or access our wisdom.